So in this latest version of my query, which I believe I will use until I hit that dreaded 1:10 ratio (that is 1 partial or full request to every 10 agents queried), I am struggling on this one line.
I'd like to see what you all think and maybe you can give me the idea if it means something to the plot (in such few words) or if I am just getting hung up on it.
So, below is my query, and the line in bold is the passage in question. Should it stay in or out? What does it add?
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BOND OF DARKNESS follows a cast in a gritty world of unforgiving secrets, clashing magic and murderous lineages. The manuscript is complete at 115,000 words.
When a deadly infection resurfaces, Valence becomes the pawn of a vicious conflict dating back to the first race of men, but the return of the infection also brings the rebirth of the Warlord who created it. He is thrown into the fires of war, but as revealed secrets amass, Valence cannot be sure if his motives are his own. With the destructive Pearls of Mithrus in his control, he is also granted unparalleled insight into the infection’s history. Valence suspects that he is linked to the Warlord, whether by blood or across time, and races to uncover the mystery of his involvement in the new war against the infection.
[Redacted paragraph about Agent specifications]
Thank you for considering my manuscript.
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I hope you can help me through this.
Bye for now!