Welcome to Part 2 of the Character Blogfest, hosted by Cassie Mae. Click the link to return to the participants and list of postings required to play along.Before I begin, I'm going to plug my blogfest again, happening on February 13th. I'd for you all to stop by and join! Visit here: Hook, Line & Sinker Blogfest.
In this part, we were to write a 250 word flash fiction piece that shows emotion. And I have just the scene. Again, here's Valence and his love interest, Melana.
* * *
Melana fell silent for a moment, just the sound of her steady breaths like a haunted wind brushing my ears. She looked at her feet again, but I curled my index finger under her chin. When her emerald eyes met mine, I took her lips to my own. I hadn't kissed her this way since the night we slept together. A kiss here and there, holding hands and sharing stories. Never this way, and certainly not in the close presence of Alanur. This was my way of saying I didn't give a damn if he approved any more. I pressed myself on her, holding her against the wall. She fought for breaths during our lip lock, and I the same, but it felt too good to separate for even a second. When I found myself truly needing air, I peeled my lips away and touched my forehead to hers. She stared at me--through me--and put her hand on my chest. Her fingers twitched to my irregular, heavy heartbeat.
She tasted the flavor of my lips after our kiss and said, "Only if something like that could win your war."
I started to laugh, but held it back when the idea bloomed. It flourished so swiftly, like watching a flower bloom in fast forward. All the water and sunlight and air that it needed to survive for a season in seconds. She must have caught on when I stared above her, blankly at the wall, instead of at her.
I enjoyed the way you started out with one emotion and ended with another... that's tough to do in 250 words! Interested to see what happens to these two...
ReplyDeleteSo much emotion in 250 words. Fanning myself.
ReplyDeleteVery passionately done. Nice.
ReplyDeleteOhh I want to know what happens next! Well done.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. I could feel the passion between Valence and Melana. And I like how the tone and mood changed at the end.
ReplyDeleteYou did wonderfully, thanks for sharing.
Good movement. I felt dragged along with both of them. Nice!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written - I was completely engaged throughout!
ReplyDeleteJustin--this is gorgeous writing. It is hard to get people interested in a kiss without all the build up, but you did it!!! Simply wonderful :)
ReplyDeleteOh ho ho! You are so talented! Great kissing scene and with a great change in tone there at the end. Wow!
ReplyDeleteLooks like I'm going to be battling with Angie over this one too. :)
Love the kissing :) Very good writing.
ReplyDeletePerhaps "Only if" could be switched to "If only" . .
ReplyDeleteBut I have to agree with everyone; a truly excellent kissing scene. I sense the emotional bulidup to this event, and the shift at the end to more practical matters lets e know there is romance in this novvel, but it is still action centered. My favorite reading material.
A good choice not only for the emotional segment of the blogfest, but also to introduce your characters and showcase their secondary plots.
Very well done Justin.
......dhole
I was holding my breath the whole way through this! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI wanted you to know you are in my top 10 for this challenge :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angela!
DeleteThanks, Angela!
DeleteWow...that was just...wow. Very powerfull
ReplyDeleteWhile it is perfectly play bazaar okay to use a sleep aid to help you rest every once in a while, this should not be used as a long-term treatment for insomnia. If you have been having sleepless nights for more than a week, it would be a good idea for you to see a doctor so he can properly diagnose and treat you.satta king
ReplyDelete