Monday, January 3, 2011

"Show Me Yours" Blogfest

Today kicks off the "Show Me Yours" Blogfest, hosted by Summer Frey. Visit the LINK PAGE to see all the participants. The goal of the blogfest is sweet and simple. Post a 500 word excerpt from your NaNoWriMo 2010 project. Since 2010 was my first NaNo ever, I was stoked to have won. Now to share. FYI: My excerpt is a little over 500 words.


Peace and Writing Love,


* * *

From The Shattered Darkness, Chapter 7

At mid sun the next day, Eris arrived at the Crystal Pool, whose surrounding grounds seemed strangely attended. Phinella was true as to the Pool’s beauty and all of Eris' rapture of being given yet another way to locate Valence forced her to run to it. She leaned over the well. Roots along its lip raised like a dome over it. The stones forming the well were a soft gray, more pristine in appearance than the welcoming grounds. All around the inside of the dome, brass bowls had been fastened to it, each bearing a small flame cuddled in the Elf brand embers.

She held her hand over the water and a ripple went across it a moment later. The ring began at the center and pushed out, an image forming over the soft wakes as they moved. Valence appeared on the surface, sending looks left and right as if watching for something. The scene surrounding him focused next, familiar buildings and hatched roofs at his back. He stood under a bare tree with nearly no color. Eris waited for him steadfast, before he looked directly at her. She turned around, sure he might have been looking around her, but when she turned back, he nodded and smiled.


He mouthed words, but there was no voice to them. She waited before he seemed to repeat himself. “Where are you,” he was saying.

“I’m with the Elves,” she said aloud. “I’ve been looking for you. I need you.”

He mouthed, “Come home.”

“I can’t, I—” She paused and looked around. “I’m a week away.”

“Please,” he said. The water rippled again, now more violent. It sloshed against the well walls and splashed onto the edge.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“It’s mom and dad.”

Eris reeled back, Valence’s face contorted as something pulled him away from the water. A shadow dashed in front of the Pool and a bullet of water shot up from it. It drenched the roots and stone, but Eris sat a foot away, reclining on her arms and watching it. It was not long before she scrambled up, all of Phinella’s warnings forgotten in her greed. She crawled for the Pool and put her head through the water, allowing her body to fall in after. She twirled, legs over body, before the wash and push of the water spit he out onto hard ground of dirt and pebbles. A woman screamed in the distance and she pulled her chin up to glance level at the ground. She breathed at the dirt and watched feet scamper by her eyes.

She was yanked to stand by a two-handed grip on her cloak and thrown into a choke. The arm beneath her throat was black-skinned, minute prickly hairs lining its arm like razors.

“Pretend to be dead, girl?” the thing at her back asked. It growled hunger and hissed in her ear. A worm-like tongue slid down her lobe and she shied away from it.

Eris thrashed, a well-placed heel to the creature’s leg and the thing released her. She spun around, the creature whirling back to face her just as her saber met its neck. Its head plopped off and bobbled across the ground. After the creature’s body dropped, she looked at the head. Its face was pulled up in a snout, the nose two swine-like slits for breathing. Beady dark eyes sat above high boned cheeks, almost hidden, and they gleamed like obsidian in death.


  1. Interesting scene. Looks to be part of a great fantasy book.

    Thanks for participating in the blogfest.

  2. I love that last paragraph, especially that last line "gleamed like obsidian in death" nice description!

  3. I love your blogfest entry! The creature described in the last paragraph sounds creepy--now I want to know the rest of the story behind the excerpt!

  4. I love your descriptions, I always do i know. But you bring such things to exist in such a neat way. I love the pool image and the creature image well done.

  5. ooh creepy creature!
    Also i love the name Eris. It reminds me of Final Fantasy VII. Ahhh, good times.
    Thanks for participating!

  6. Thank you for posting this, and congratulations on winning your first NaNo! I hope you have a great time continuing to work on this project.

  7. ooh good job! Thank you for joining us!!

  8. Congrats on winning your first NaNo! Good job on the excerpt. Nice use of imagery during the exchange between Eris and Valence. Thanks for sharing.

  9. You already know how I feel about this piece, and all of your writing.

    You never fail to amaze and Eris is my fav. Love her.

    The creepy creature at the end is a perfect contrast the the beautiful pool images you use.


  10. Great description! I love how it's interwoven with action, makes it very smooth to read. I loved your writing! Thank you for sharing :)

  11. I love this piece and the last line is a clincher. I want to read more!

  12. 'Strangely attended' - I wasn't quite sure how to react to this phrase in the first sentence. What's strange - the number of people in attendence, or the kind of people??

    I'm also a little confused about what's going on. Eris finds Valence - her lover or a family member? - in this sort of scrying pool, and he can see her too and hear her, though she can't hear his words. And she dives into the pool and emerges somewhere else - did she actually get to Valence, or is she lost somewhere else?

    But thanks for participating, it was an interesting excerpt to read.


"Little by Little, One Goes Far." -- J.R.R Tolkien.

I believe this as a philosophy, from a man who saw war and setback, and conquered all to bring us the greatest fantasy series that has ever been published. Leave your little comment and I'll get back to you.